Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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