If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
