Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
