The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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