Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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