I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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