I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
