he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
