yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
