This girl is more easily done than said...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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