I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
