Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
