she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
