Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She told me I should be a condom model.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We were destined to go to rehab together
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
