Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
