i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he shaved USA in his pubs
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my being single is dangerous.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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