I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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