Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
