I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
