I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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