I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
