do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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