Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
