So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
