Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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