real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
