Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
