This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
