One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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