Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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