Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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