I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
