Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
