I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
