its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
