At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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