My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
