my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
