Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
