im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
