jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
