hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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