you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
