no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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