So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
