you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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