Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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