it hurts more in the daytime
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
