I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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