a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
