dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
