I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
